Thursday, April 18, 2013

Just Pull me out of Now and into later

I'm just about ready to fucking die.
Sorry for the rude hello. Hello friends, neighbors, people of Jupiter. I'm just about ready to die.


This week has given me absolutely nothing but bullshit. Drama at school, drama at work, drama at home. Drama is fucking EVERYWHERE.I don't apologize for my foul language, but rather warn you that what you are about to read will most likely involve swearing in every sentence.

It all kinda started Monday. I got to start working with the cast and crew of the Musical Comedy Murders of 1940. I know the director and assistant director, two of the actors, and one of the crew members. It wasn't too horrible. But I heard stuff from the assistant director who I happen to be friends with about some of the cast, and they were very true. So Tuesday at school I was pissed off. And then, the official director of the show I'm ADing for completely cancelled the show without thought because apparently his wife is getting a knee replaced. WHAT THE FUCK??? I'm a director for a reason... I could have totally taken the show under my wing like I already did but no- he has to just go and cancel it. I did all of the blocking, all of the tech stuff, and 98% of the casting. He did absolutely nothing. But whatever. So I'm even more mad about that. And most of the cast still wants to do the show and they're all like "I'll be the director if you don't want to do it" and shit but I'm not letting somebody fuck up my show no matter whether or not I want to direct. So yeah. And now at work (Rhode) everyone is yelling cues at me and changing them every time they yell them at me. I'm being told 6 different things about one cue and they're all different and I'm so confused. Tonight I was going to pull the AD over and ask him to help me but nope! He's at the bar next door drinking with the rest of the cast. And this brings me to my next point. Drinking has affected my family a lot. I hate drinking and alcohol and I promise, god as my witness (even though I'm not religious) that I will never take a sip of alcohol, no matter what it is or what the circumstance. And during my MCM rehearsals this girl in seventh grade starts running around everywhere and going onstage to watch what's going on onstage WHILE The Kenosha News is taking photos. She just pisses me off. She's always playing with the props and shit and I'm just like NO! And then after the rehearsal she comes all up in my cave and she's like "There are a lot of spots where you're supposed to open the door and I'm seeing that you're not. There's even a little crack in the door so you can see when the pen moves." REALLY? I'm reading a script and supposed to be looking through a crack, eh? She's not even crew or cast. Her frickin dad has nowhere else to put her so he basically leaves me and my friend Bailey to babysit her. And apparently this girl is my age. WOW. Just wow. I am so surprised I didn't just snap on her. So now I'm in probably the worst mood one could be in. I just want to talk to someone. Just sit down and spill it. Someone who won't judge me, who won't make fun of me when I cry. Someone that doesn't seem to exist in my life. And on top of being sad and angry, now I'm lonely. In this big world of 7000000+ people I have absolutely no one I can confide in completely. All I ask for is someone who can keep what I say to themselves and a little respect. Is that really so hard?

  This has left me tearing up, so I'm going to go. Shoot me (a comment) if you actually read this. I kinda think his has turned into my venting journal or something instead of DIYs and stuff. Have a good one folks. Make it double good for me.