Thursday, May 15, 2014

May 15th, 2014

Things are... going. I have an appointment with a nutritionist tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to. Basically he/she will tell me that everything I'm doing is wrong because that's what they're paid to do, and then they'll tell probably put me on this strict diet. I know I'm not the poster child for health anymore, but I've made a lot of significant changes compared to how I was living a year ago. I'm eating a lot healthier and exercising more. I can't just up and change everything, which seems impossible for people to understand. I just... I don't even want to talk about it.

     I've been thinking more and more about my future. What will I be? Will I be married? Have kids? Adopt? Where will I live? What will I drive? Where will I go to school? Do I go for grad school?

It's so hard knowing all of this at the current stage in my life. I'm in the middle of a lot of stress with the end of the school year. I've been pricing vehicles already. There's no way I'll be able to afford any of the vehicles I like by the time I'm 18. I'm tied between a Javelin, Charger (original, not the shitty ones made now), and a lifted 350. So basically either a muscle car or a lifted truck. Oh, and whatever it is, it needs to be loud.
I still think I want to be a stage manager, but look at everything I was deadset on being when I was younger. I wanted to be a ghost hunter, like Jason Hawes and Zak Bagans. But now, not so much. I've been saying for the past 12 years that I want to be a train conductor when I'm retired, and I'd still like to do that.
Marriage. What a scary topic. No, not scary, just distant. I always imagined myself married, but thinking about where I am now, I really don't see anyone marrying me.

I really don't see anyone marrying me.